Cutkarsitzan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, irritating goose.

Cutkarsitzan created the Cigar Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cutkarsitzan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Cutkarsitzan, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cutkarsitzan's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Cutkarsitzan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in the presence of tortoises.

2. Hide if six seals approach from the east.

3. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Do not prepare peanuts while filled with anger.