Hadgebxen is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, unjust turtle.

Hadgebxen created a quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadgebxen, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hadgebxen, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Hadgebxen's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Hadgebxen's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Pray towards the west.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

5. Never talk about quantum mechanics near aardvarks while wearing purple trousers and balancing nine lead spheres on your arms.