Yarpjanzog is a god.

She takes the form of a small, omnipotent jellyfish.

Yarpjanzog created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpjanzog, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Yarpjanzog, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Yarpjanzog's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Yarpjanzog's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach rivers carrying bone.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not eat bananas.

4. Never talk about gulls.

5. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.