Tettimipgid is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, fussy wren.

Tettimipgid created a top quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tettimipgid, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tettimipgid, it will jump up and down on your head.

Tettimipgid's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tettimipgid's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from pink badgers for they are unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never remain prostrate at dusk.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never mention frogs.