Cumjinbad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, selfish tortoise.

Cumjinbad created carbon nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cumjinbad, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cumjinbad, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cumjinbad's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Cumjinbad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear magenta clothing.

2. Never mention pigs.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Never think about dark matter near eagles while wearing turquoise trousers and balancing four gold spheres on your face.