Flistifsan is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, grumpy goat.

Flistifsan created Africa nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flistifsan, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flistifsan, she will turn you into a goat.

Flistifsan's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Flistifsan's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not fashion tools from aluminium.

4. Do not name children after otters.

5. Always remove rings before touching silver.