Flagveenrot Hivbestzed is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, emotional goblin.

Flagveenrot Hivbestzed created vertebrates eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Flagveenrot Hivbestzed, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Flagveenrot Hivbestzed, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Flagveenrot Hivbestzed's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Flagveenrot Hivbestzed's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

2. Never discuss ribonucleic acid in public assemblies.

3. Remain prostrate during prayer.

4. Do not prepare melons while filled with fear.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.