Rullsaddub Nutceb is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, benevolent gerbil.

Rullsaddub Nutceb created the Cigar Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Rullsaddub Nutceb, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Rullsaddub Nutceb, she will laugh at you.

Rullsaddub Nutceb's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Rullsaddub Nutceb's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed wheat to moths while wearing green dresses.

2. Do not study ribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Never hurt goats.

4. You must pray to Rullsaddub Nutceb eight times a day.

5. Never paint your legs purple.