Lanfunwitbim Saktanhat is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, strong bear.

Lanfunwitbim Saktanhat created a Higgs boson two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanfunwitbim Saktanhat, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Lanfunwitbim Saktanhat, he will turn you into a dog.

Lanfunwitbim Saktanhat's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Lanfunwitbim Saktanhat's Holy Commandments

1. Never carve symbols of galaxies into wood.

2. Always wash your feet before prayer.

3. Do not count beyond six during ceremonies.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not contemplate thermodynamics during the night.