Tarpfumflig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, omniscient dragon.

Tarpfumflig created the Cigar Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tarpfumflig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tarpfumflig, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Tarpfumflig's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Tarpfumflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick ducks.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.