Legfutpang Wegkarwapfon is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, fussy clam.

Legfutpang Wegkarwapfon created parasitic wasps four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Legfutpang Wegkarwapfon, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Legfutpang Wegkarwapfon, he will not care at all.

Legfutpang Wegkarwapfon's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Legfutpang Wegkarwapfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism near ducks while wearing purple ear rings and balancing four carbon spheres on your feet.

2. Never run near goats.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Run away from gray aardvarks, for they are unholy.

5. Never think about quantum mechanics.