Quatlargtonk is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, dishonest human.

Quatlargtonk created gold twelve years ago.

If you believe in Quatlargtonk, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quatlargtonk, it will turn you into a rat.

Quatlargtonk's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Quatlargtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about hamsters.

2. Do not kill badgers.

3. Never look at dwarf planets.

4. Retreat if four nematodes approach from the east.

5. Never hop near dogs.