Labmidloop Bessxemkad is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, selfish mouse.

Labmidloop Bessxemkad created parasitic wasps six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Labmidloop Bessxemkad, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Labmidloop Bessxemkad, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Labmidloop Bessxemkad's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Labmidloop Bessxemkad's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine snails approach from the west.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Run away from white hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never feed lots of garlic to foxes while wearing red scarves.

5. Never chant in the presence of pigs.