Stipparkren is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, dishonourable penguin.

Stipparkren created the planet Venus nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stipparkren, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Stipparkren, he will turn you into a rat.

Stipparkren's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Stipparkren's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near bats.

2. Never mention ants.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Do not speak about coconuts.

5. Never feed beans to birds while wearing dresses.