Fadpanbuskan is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, staggering tapir.

Fadpanbuskan created gold eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fadpanbuskan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fadpanbuskan, she will turn you into a mole.

Fadpanbuskan's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Fadpanbuskan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate ants.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Fadpanbuskan in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.