Dunvigtaf Fithamsom is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, kind octopus.

Dunvigtaf Fithamsom created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dunvigtaf Fithamsom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dunvigtaf Fithamsom, he will be mildly annoyed.

Dunvigtaf Fithamsom's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Dunvigtaf Fithamsom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about thermodynamics near porpoises while wearing orange ear rings and balancing six iron spheres on your feet.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not keep eight whales in a large pit.

4. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Dunvigtaf Fithamsom on top of all buildings.

5. Never talk about dark energy.