Cembetpaszan is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, weak salamander.

Cembetpaszan created the Whirlpool Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cembetpaszan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cembetpaszan, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Cembetpaszan's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Cembetpaszan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never feed aubergines to doves while wearing indigo tights.

4. Do not dye your hair green.

5. Never hurt tortoises.