Xuckonlad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, amazing mole.

Xuckonlad created Africa three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Xuckonlad, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Xuckonlad, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Xuckonlad's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Xuckonlad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to otters while wearing yellow trousers.

2. Never mention grasshopers.

3. Do not drink water in violet rooms.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Do not hurt moths.