Ceparnstaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, compassionate penguin.

Ceparnstaf created a bottom quark four million years ago.

If you believe in Ceparnstaf, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ceparnstaf, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Ceparnstaf's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Ceparnstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Put Ceparnstaf first in all things.

3. You must love Ceparnstaf.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.