Loopsissand Rotflambimstancussan is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, egotistical mongoose.

Loopsissand Rotflambimstancussan created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Loopsissand Rotflambimstancussan, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Loopsissand Rotflambimstancussan, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Loopsissand Rotflambimstancussan's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Loopsissand Rotflambimstancussan's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never talk about spacetime near mice while wearing blue shorts.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Loopsissand Rotflambimstancussan.

5. Do not drink water in green rooms.