Tofwikvinlak is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, all-powerful owl.

Tofwikvinlak created the Andromeda Galaxy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tofwikvinlak, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tofwikvinlak, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Tofwikvinlak's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tofwikvinlak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not take Tofwikvinlak's name in vain.

3. Do not kill dolphins.

4. Tofwikvinlak must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.