Fligxendiss Xinbapnig is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, witless gerbil.

Fligxendiss Xinbapnig created the universe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Fligxendiss Xinbapnig, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fligxendiss Xinbapnig, it will have a low opinion of you.

Fligxendiss Xinbapnig's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Fligxendiss Xinbapnig's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.

3. Do not eat aubergines.

4. Never mention tapirs.

5. Always make sure there are no whales in a room before entering it.