Catmisten is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, astonishing toad.

Catmisten created the Whirlpool Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Catmisten, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Catmisten, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Catmisten's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Catmisten's Holy Commandments

1. Catmisten loves moths, so they must be honoured.

2. Never eat lentils.

3. Retreat if nine dolphins approach from the east.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not chop down trees.