Cunmumminrak Queegtadtof is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, effective skunk.

Cunmumminrak Queegtadtof created a charm quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunmumminrak Queegtadtof, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Cunmumminrak Queegtadtof, he will laugh at you.

Cunmumminrak Queegtadtof's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Cunmumminrak Queegtadtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention whales.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Feed all hungry bats.