Vancutdid is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, annoying raccoon.

Vancutdid created everything that exists seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vancutdid, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Vancutdid, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Vancutdid's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Vancutdid's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Monkeys are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed limes to foxes while wearing trousers.

4. Never mention dolphins.

5. Never look at black holes.