Pashenvanbem is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, idiotic bat.

Pashenvanbem created the planet Venus five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pashenvanbem, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pashenvanbem, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Pashenvanbem's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Pashenvanbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of capybaras.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

4. Do not shave your neck.

5. Hide from pink frogs for they are unholy.