Tarrenquaf Bedpagsad is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, astonishing jackal.

Tarrenquaf Bedpagsad created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tarrenquaf Bedpagsad, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tarrenquaf Bedpagsad, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Tarrenquaf Bedpagsad's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tarrenquaf Bedpagsad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Always help sick rats.

3. Never think about spacetime near badgers while wearing black rings and balancing six copper spheres on your legs.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat bark.