Farcepbossteenlarg is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, blissful turtle.

Farcepbossteenlarg created the planet Jupiter six million years ago.

If you believe in Farcepbossteenlarg, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Farcepbossteenlarg, it will have a low opinion of you.

Farcepbossteenlarg's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Farcepbossteenlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. You must never eat gooseberries.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not bounce in public.