Futortflat is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, self-confident snail.

Futortflat created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Futortflat, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Futortflat, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Futortflat's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Futortflat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your chest.

2. Never bounce in the presence of dogs.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Erect a giant silicon sculpture of Futortflat in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics.