Farntafomin is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, vain lion.

Farntafomin created an up quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Farntafomin, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Farntafomin, she will turn you into a plant.

Farntafomin's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Farntafomin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

2. Farntafomin must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Farntafomin.