Jopzimyat is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, intelligent elephant.

Jopzimyat created an atom eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jopzimyat, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jopzimyat, it will manifest in front of you.

Jopzimyat's most sacred site is Zhelaizhai in China.

Jopzimyat's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four snakes approach from the north.

2. Draw representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Worship no other gods but Jopzimyat.

4. Never talk about optics near hamsters while wearing orange coats and balancing five aluminium spheres on your hands.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.