Haktamged is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, cheerful lizard.

Haktamged created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haktamged, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Haktamged, she will try to impress you with trees.

Haktamged's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Haktamged's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear green.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not shave your head.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never eat figs.