Rilsawged Stigkipfen is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, unthinking shrew.

Rilsawged Stigkipfen created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rilsawged Stigkipfen, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Rilsawged Stigkipfen, he will turn you into a puffin.

Rilsawged Stigkipfen's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Rilsawged Stigkipfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep eight rats in a large pit.

2. Never hurt birds.

3. Hide from mauve sheep for they are unholy.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never think ill of sick turtles.