Armlibzed is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, self-assured salamander.

Armlibzed created snails four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Armlibzed, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Armlibzed, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Armlibzed's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Armlibzed's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Erect four copper sculptures of Armlibzed on top of important buildings.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.