Pangfedspag is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, moody weasel.

Pangfedspag created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Pangfedspag, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Pangfedspag, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Pangfedspag's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Pangfedspag's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never think about chlorophyll.

5. Never wear rings.