Jadcudvonyakdamtom is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish porpoise.

Jadcudvonyakdamtom created an electron nine million years ago.

If you believe in Jadcudvonyakdamtom, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Jadcudvonyakdamtom, he will not care at all.

Jadcudvonyakdamtom's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Jadcudvonyakdamtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Never think about ultrasonics near horses while wearing mauve coats and balancing six zinc spheres on your neck.

5. Do not stand on grass.