Latstanwodfen Nelldutjam is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, tiresome rhinoceros.

Latstanwodfen Nelldutjam created energy seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Latstanwodfen Nelldutjam, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Latstanwodfen Nelldutjam, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Latstanwodfen Nelldutjam's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Latstanwodfen Nelldutjam's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Latstanwodfen Nelldutjam seven times a day.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never sprint near rats.

4. Always make sure there are no tortoises in a building before entering it.

5. Never feed lots of corn to dolphins while wearing gray jumpers.