Haklunhimfly is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, two-faced armadillo.

Haklunhimfly created humanity three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Haklunhimfly, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Haklunhimfly, she will turn you into a puffin.

Haklunhimfly's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Haklunhimfly's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about electromagnetism.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always help badgers in need.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always take life seriously.