Vognankab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, capable gorilla.

Vognankab created a down quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Vognankab, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Vognankab, he will strike you with lightening.

Vognankab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Vognankab's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vognankab's priests.

2. Do not wear pink clothing.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vognankab.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Run away if nine squirrels approach from the west.