Baffarnjam is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, irritating dragon.

Baffarnjam created vertebrates six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baffarnjam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Baffarnjam, it will turn you into a rat.

Baffarnjam's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Baffarnjam's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Put Baffarnjam first in all things.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not speak about peanuts.