Nullbid Bitzenzed is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, kind donkey.

Nullbid Bitzenzed created the planet Mars eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nullbid Bitzenzed, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Nullbid Bitzenzed, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Nullbid Bitzenzed's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Nullbid Bitzenzed's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum gravity.

2. Always help snakes in need.

3. Never write about stars.

4. Retreat if nine frogs approach from the north.

5. Hide from yellow whales for they are unholy.