Matjaphin is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, unthinking dugong.

Matjaphin created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Matjaphin, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Matjaphin, it will turn you into a sheep.

Matjaphin's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Matjaphin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear corsets.

2. Never look at planets.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in fawn.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Erect a large copper sculpture of Matjaphin on top of all buildings.