Yakgumtig is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, charitable rat.

Yakgumtig created the cosmos nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakgumtig, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Yakgumtig, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yakgumtig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Yakgumtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of ants.

2. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Feed all hungry turtles.

5. Never talk about dark energy near seals while wearing pink boots and balancing nine platinum spheres on your face.