Flanfumceb is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, fast pigeon.

Flanfumceb created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flanfumceb, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flanfumceb, she will destroy your home planet.

Flanfumceb's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Flanfumceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Hide if seven eagles approach from the north.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.