Fasgoftin Kinbomfet Fardapben is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, duplicitous cobra.

Fasgoftin Kinbomfet Fardapben created the Large Magellanic Cloud nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fasgoftin Kinbomfet Fardapben, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fasgoftin Kinbomfet Fardapben, she will boil you in a big pot.

Fasgoftin Kinbomfet Fardapben's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Fasgoftin Kinbomfet Fardapben's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fasgoftin Kinbomfet Fardapben.

3. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Fasgoftin Kinbomfet Fardapben in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never think about planets.