Aftapfud is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, bad-tempered human.

Aftapfud created the world eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Aftapfud, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Aftapfud, it will turn you into a hamster.

Aftapfud's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Aftapfud's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt mites.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Aftapfud.

3. Never paint your back green.

4. Never talk about solid mechanics.

5. Always help bats.