Zanparkjip Dagcepartcutgovweggomlak is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, clever dingo.

Zanparkjip Dagcepartcutgovweggomlak created the planet Mars four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanparkjip Dagcepartcutgovweggomlak, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Zanparkjip Dagcepartcutgovweggomlak, he will not invite you to parties.

Zanparkjip Dagcepartcutgovweggomlak's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Zanparkjip Dagcepartcutgovweggomlak's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about chromosomes.

2. Never feed lots of beans to moths while wearing turquoise stockings.

3. You must love Zanparkjip Dagcepartcutgovweggomlak.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Never write about eukaryotes.