Labgofwan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omniscient lizard.

Labgofwan created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Labgofwan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Labgofwan, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Labgofwan's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Labgofwan's Holy Commandments

1. Labgofwan loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Paint representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

4. Put Labgofwan first in all things.

5. Do not kill doves.