Bonfudwod is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, almighty giraffe.

Bonfudwod created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonfudwod, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bonfudwod, he will destroy your favourite star.

Bonfudwod's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Bonfudwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Hamsters are not to be trusted.

3. Never feed carrots to great tits while wearing shoes.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.