Zantigfem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, unselfish manatee.

Zantigfem created the Whirlpool Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zantigfem, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zantigfem, he will turn you into a mole.

Zantigfem's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Zantigfem's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt ducks.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zantigfem.